Connor, Me, and the Highlander movie...

I'm going to let a secret out of the bag. My son Connor is named after Connor MacLeod from the Highlander movie. How could I not....a sword wielding immortal whose only goal is to behead those of other immortals in order to win the "prize". (oops, don't think my wife wanted me to mention that part) I digress! I was so looking forward to watching Highlander with Connor and even played it out in my mind:

Dream Sequence
Connor: "Daddy, thanks so much for naming me after such a cool studly man who is just like you!"
Me: "No problem son, I'm glad to have done it"

Reality
This weekend Connor and I sat down to watch the movie. His first thought..."Why is Connor MacLeod wearing a dress?" I tried to explain...it wasn't a dress, it was a kilt! Moments went on..."Daddy, his kilt has lots of colors..like a girls dress." I explained to him that a kilt represented the colors of their family name. Connor looked at me with a puzzled look.
"Do we have family colors for a kilt?" I paused the movie and explained to him the Connor Macleod was Scottish and as our family originated from Spain we didnt wear kilts. To WHICH my son followed up by saying "daddy, im very confused. You named me after a guy who comes from a country where guys wear kilts? But...our family is from Spain...I dont understand...why am I named after a Scottish person...?" I looked down...and he walked out of the room. After thinking about it I hit the play button and watched the rest of the movie.

Bill
Your Hispanic Crusader

....I dont get the timing of these commercials....

So there we are. I made breakfast for the family and on this rare occasion i decided i wanted to watch Fox news while I cooked. My son walked in and sat at the kitchen counter and the other kids started to shuffle in. My wife made her way into the kitchen to make her morning coffee when of all commercials the Viagra commercial pops on. As the commercial plays my son looks at me and says "daddy, those people look really happy in that commercial. You should take one of those in the morning so you can be happy all day." I looked back at him and said, "Connor, they don't want people to be happy at my job all day."

Blogging in my office...

Having 6 children can put a damper on my family blog site. My wife, the incredible woman she is, tries to fend off the children long enough to type a few words here and there but eventually they overwhelm her and they come running my way. So, i decided to lock myself in my office to type this blog. I have a lot to share since my last blog. Word's of insight and things that will be life changing. So here we go....wait..someone is knocking at my office door....I have to go folks, looks like the 9 year old has to use the restroom I'm locked in.....


Bill Avila

A mountain of laziness...

Once upon a time there was an old farmer who wanted to discover the meaning of life. The farmer thought that he could find his answer meditating and living in the remote parts of the mountains. He asked his friends if they wanted to go with him but they all said they couldn't leave the farm. So he went up to the mountain top on his own. After 3 years he came back down. Aged and full of knowledge he walked into the village to announce his arrival. So his friends came running and asked, "did you find the meaning of life?" "yes" the old farmer replied. The friends were eager..."what is it?" He looked at them and said "go up the mountain and find out yourself"....and he walked away.....

This time...it happened to my wife...

Greetings Crusaders,

I received a call this AM from the better half of the crusader family. Evidently the 7 year old made her way down stairs, woke my wife up to proclaim how proud she was that she slept in 15 extra minutes. My wife shrugged her off only to be awoken again, by the same child, who is complaining of an itching foot! Good grief. To put everything in perspective this is the same child who woke me up in order to inform me that she spilled the orange juice and needed to know what course of action she should take. I think Bill Cosby was right...kids are born with Drain Brammage.....

Your humble crusader

Quote of the year!

Greetings fellow crusaders,

It's hard to imagine that the quote of the year would come so soon...but yes...it's here. This past weekend the 13 year old had the opportunity to baby sit thus earning some extra cash. It was a pleasant Saturday however, like most Saturdays, it was a busy one. As we were getting ready for an early dinner the 13 year old made it clear that she needed a "nap" in order to prepare herself for baby sitting that night. Unfortunately it wasn't in the cards. As I was talking to her I tried to get her to realize that"naps" are convenient and not necessary to do your job well. It was during this exchange that the quote of the year comes out. She said, with a totally straight face, "you guys don't understand what it's like to watch a bunch of kids when you haven't taken a nap!" Well...there you go folks. The good thing is that my lovely bride and I make parenting look pretty easy. If they were to make a movie about us I think we would like the title to be 6 Kids, No Nap, and No Refunds. Why no refunds? You'll have to see the movie to get the explanation....(cough cough)

Your humble crusader

A generation that doesnt understand......

Triple coupon week is always a fun week for the Avila family. During my shopping spree i had a coupon for mustard which, when tripled, was free! The mustard, however, was not the squeezable kind but the "older" style where a butter knife is required in order to spread the mustard. The day came when the kids wanted the mustard. The 13 year old yelled over to me that the squeezable mustard had run out and she wanted to know if she could use the other mustard i had purchased. I replied, "of course". "How do i use it?" she asked. I told her to use a butter knife as that was my preferred method. Only later would I understand that my words were apparently very "vague" for the 13 year old. When i walked back in the kitchen she had a butter knife in hand...unfastened the mustard....and was scooping the mustard from the glass container into the squeezable container! "what are you doing!" I asked. She said, "you told me to use a butter knife" to which I replied "To spread the mustard not scoop the mustard into another container!" She looked at me as though I had asked her to revert back to an 8 track player instead of using her MP3 Player and she said, "you mean I have to spread it myself?" I am indeed fearful for this generation. I have to run....the kids forgot how to turn the television on without the remote control......