Facing the past......

This past episode of "The Biggest Loser" was interesting as they had to answer an important question, "What drove you to this weight gain?" For the past 5 months I've been asking myself the very same question. Instead of going to a traditional gym I decided to get involved with a group of trainers who teach a cross-training philosophy. The training is hard and rugged. Also, it allows me some time to think about some important things. During a recent exercise I had to carry a punching bag over my shoulder for a half-mile. It was painful...it was hard. And during the walk I came to a realization...this punching bag was my "burden". All these years my "punching bag" just continued to get heavier and heavier as the burden became unbearable. But how did this punching bag even come into my life? It's a period of life I try not to dwell on...but..it's necessary to talk about.

After college I was hired to become a case manager for social services and that's when everything changed. I took on the case load of children who had been severely beaten, molested, and often times battered. I was only 22 when i was tasked with this job and it was to much for such a young man to carry. The more and more kids I worked with the worse my eating got. Depression soon set in and soon after my eating got worse. Since that time I've had 16 years to carry this burden...depression...and the guilt that I didn't do enough. But 5 months ago I decided to put this burden aside and conquer it. Since then I have lost 5 inches to my waist line. I am shedding the old person....waiting to discover the man underneath. The boy who was left depressed from the waste and sins of the world is going away......and...I'm excited to revisit with my old self. This is my journey and perhaps it's a journey some of you might be on...I look forward to walking with any one of you along the way.

Thanksgiving...Will I get promoted this year?

So, another year of thanksgiving dinner and another year to answer an age old question asked by every teenager showing up at the Avila home..."Am I old enough to sit at the adult table this year?" This question is generally posed moments before dinner is to be served and generally leads into an argument which is followed by a small rebellion of 4-9 years old's who also believe that they should have a chair at the adult table. This is also followed by an argument, by the same 4-9 year old's, concerning voting rights and something to do about the age of drinking in SC. However, this is a separate matter all together. I've tried planning for this moment however how does one plan for disaster? Generally, if I set the bar to 14 years of age then the 13 year old will chime in that her birthday is in 2 months! So...just like last year...it looks like I'll be sitting at the kiddie table again...talking about Hannah Montana and the Jonas Brothers...yippee....

Daddy, does that happen to you wherever you go?

Ashley had just finished up her practice with a new gymnastics school. She went through 3 hours of hard core training so I thought I would take her out for dinner. So we went to a Greek family restaurant in the area. Once there we ordered our food and had a great conversation. The owner of the restaurant saw me and came running to the table. She sat down next to Ashley and in her Greek accent proclaims "When you are done you need to pray with me...ok!?" When she got up to greet other customers Ashley looked at me and asked, "daddy, do strangers randomly come up to you and ask you to pray with them?" Of course Ashley had no way of knowing that we had prayed for her the week prior and was on a spirtual high because her husband had just come to know the Lord. So after explaining everything to Ashley the owner again sat down with us this time bringing a piece of pie for Ashley. I prayed with "Mama", as she likes to be called, and it was a wonderful time. When we left I asked Ashley what she was praying for while I prayed for Mama. She looked at me with this big grin and said "I thanked God for the pie...it was so yummy."

Do you believe in miracles?

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore,
is not an act but a habit.
Aristotle

Once upon a time there was a great nation. Bound by the gates of excellence and looked upon in envy. Once upon a time we were a nation without apology. Born from the spirit of men who had a dream, conceived with a thought and born with a stroke of a pen. Once upon a time I was part of a nation that excelled in all aspects of life. I want our nation to excel once again. Without apology of our past success. Without apology of our future endeavors. We were once great and we will be great again. Not because of any "act" that some congressman will do but by the heart of every American in this country. We are the heart beat of this nation. We are the blood which flows through the vain of this great nation. And we will reclaim the very liberty and freedom that our nation's elected officials have taken away from us...we will be great again. As you watch the videos...remember how great we were...and how together we can be great again.

Daddy...you awake?

I love my lil Megan. She's 4 years old and loves to dance. Often times, while at the dinner table, she'll have me announce her name so she can walk into the room while doing ballet. She's a sweet lil girl who is kind and funny. However, our lil Megan has a bad habit.....she enjoys waking me up. My wife is convinced that she isn't doing this on purpose however I tend to think that this is a plot laid out by the children of which she is the master mind. On this particular occasion she got into bed with me....tapped me on the head...and whispered, "daddy, no wake up...it's me Megan....ok...daddy...can you hear me? No wake up ok?" I have to be honest..the urge to wake up the children to the sound of air-horn is huge...but that just means that I would need to deal with 6 grumpy kids....ugh...the kids won this round....

You got....no class.....

Sunday...the morning where getting the kids ready for church is almost as difficult as ...well...getting 6 kids ready for church! This particular Sunday Connor walks up to me and says "daddy, you need to change your shirt." I was curious...so I probed further. "why" i asked? Connor looked at me perplexed. Apparently I was not aware that Connor moon lights as a fashion consultant for some type of 7 year old clothing magazine. After giving me the "dummy" stare he said "daddy, you got no class...." and he walked away. Hmm...never thought I would be relying on my 7 year old for fashion advice.....

Bill Avila
The Hispanic Crusader

Good bye to one of my best friends...

It was 9 years ago in January that Lauren, Ashley, and I ventured up to the great state of Ohio. The goal... to pick up my dog. He was a new born chocolate lab pup. I was so excited as this was my first real pet since leaving home. I had his name picked out...Maximus. If you looked at his AKC papers you would see his fully registered name was Maximus Decimus Meridius....yep...after the movie Gladiator. During his life I taught Max sign language and he could respond to commands with a simple gesture. He especially loved the children. If Max noticed they were getting to far from the house he would run around the child until they moved closer to the house. He was in all aspects a wonderful dog. When it came to me he wasnt just a dog but my closest friend. He followed me everywhere I went. I could count on Max to hang out when times were down or play catch outside. To describe Max would quite honestly not do him justice. He was in all respects a family member whom I will miss. He was one of my closest friends. Today we noticed Max could not move. His breathing was heavy and he wouldn't move. We took him to the Vet to find out he had a Liver disease and any options were slim. We sat by his side and the kids gave him their last hugs. In the end he demonstrated the greatest love he had for the children....Having no strength he got up...legs wobbling....and walked toward the children collapsing in front of them. I will miss my friend.

Bill Avila