A trip to the movies....

The crusader and his lovely wife celebrated 15 years of marriage last night! So, in the spirit of celebration we went out for dinner and a movie. On the way to the movies i had this terrible feeling hit my gut...it was the bathroom feeling. Well....certain universal OCD rules prohibit me from visiting the men's room. In fact, I'm certain that by even stepping foot in one I can lose my membership card. With this in mind I could not hold it any longer. So, i stepped into the men's room. When i walked in I was frightened by the fact that men i had seen using the stalls or urinals were walking straight out of the bathroom without stopping by the sinks! So, i ventured forth. I glanced at the urinals and thought, "I can make this quick." However, i took a gamble. The last time I used a urinal someone stood next to me and in a moment frozen in time looked at me and said, "hey". There is a slight possibility he actually said, "hey, how's it goin" but by that point i was suffering high anxiety and was trying to determine what his next move would be. Since the incident, I refer to as "The Nov 13 incident", I decided the urinal was not a good plan of action and moved to the stalls. Upon entering I noticed what I could only describe as the "ocean party of bacterial filth." In other words urine was all over the floor. I started to panic....i moved across the stalls and as i did i started to have visions in which toilets across the world decided to hunt me down as an annihilation of man kinds cruelness. I worked my way into the handicapped stall..it looked clean...presentable...so. The rest is history. As I speak i can only tell you the total horror I have knowing that such a place exists....I'm hoping I have the nerve to leave this bathroom stall in the next couple of hours....