A Time to Sleep....Why Me....

As all of my fellow crusaders understand I have tried for years to sleep, even if for a short amount of time. However, sleep continues to elude me. During the past 2 weeks I have been met with some major opposition. In short, let me describe the circumstances which have lead to my dillusions.

So there I was in bed...sleeping....sleeping...sleeping..suddenly a knock at the door and a small hands shakes me to wake. The 7 year old is at my bedside with what she considers an emergency. "what's the problem I ask?" The 7 year old replies by asking, "i spilled my orange juice, what should i do?" A lot of thoughts went through my head. Most of them revolved around duct tape...my door..and an electric current that would shock anyone who touched my door knob. I asked her, "what do you think you should do?" She looked puzzled...as though i had asked her to come up with some sort of quantum theory to prove that all smurfs are indeed sexless creatures....I digress. She replied with a simple answer, "i clean it up?" I stood up in applause..the angels sang and the heavens opened up.

The Sunday afternoon nap. No such thing my friends. There I was...napping on the couch. My wife did a wonderful job picking out the couch. It was comfortable and relaxing. I began to drift into a world where happiness meant not having to worry about urine soaked beds or booger faced children. (it's difficult to remove dry boogers!) So there i was..laying there...and suddenly it happened...BANG BANG BANG! I was being attacked by a 6 year old boy and his light saber. As i awoke I was met with a hailstorm of light saber sound effects and barrage of pummeling hard plastic. So..we battled...and...I lost. Oh well. Such is a day in the life of the crusader himself.

Bill

http://kingdomoftheabsurd.blogspot.com/

No time to sleep..

So there we were...sleeping at 6:00 am on a cool Saturday morning. The windows were left open so my wife and I could snuggle in the blankets. We heard the birds chirping....the sun was shining....life was perfect....until....KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. Yes, it was one of the children. It is in fact a law in the Avila household that no one is allowed out of their room until 8:00 on Saturday morning and this alone was cause for a child takeover which last hours due to child union regulations which was put in place by various children of the Avila household. The rule was simple, stay in your room until 8am...however...nothing is simple in a child's mind. In the childrens minds we were in fact keep them from using the potty. After litigation I was able to convince the children that common sense would be written in the Avila book of knowledge which they would have to refer to in case of an emergency on Saturday mornings. But I digress. So there we were in a deep sleep...the knock at the door awoke us and in walked in the 3 year old. She said she had a bad dream and needed to sleep with us. In order to try and get some sleep we let her in. Moments later the 5 year old walked in (no knock). He also had a bad dream and wanted to sleep. The bed was becoming crowded but we just wanted to get some sleep. Moments later the 7 and 9 year old came downstairs asking us if they could play in their room! We explained that we really didnt care as long as they didnt come out. However, that question was met with a series of questions that hovered around the absurd to the philosophically absurd. By the end of the morning my wife and I had moved into our walk in closet with two pillows and a blanket. It really didn't matter....they followed us in there to.

Bill Avila

http://kingdomoftheabsurd.blogspot.com/