I'm the princess....

It was a usual day. The kids were doing their chores and grumblings were heard through out the house. Megan, my 5 year old, had the task of picking up the socks in the upstairs hallway. Things were quiet and we hadn't seen her for sometime. Moments later she began her descent downstairs dressed in her princess outfit, barbie shoes, and her crown. I asked her "what's going on? Have you done your chores?" She looked at me and in her broken 5 year old version of an English accent replied back "Princess's don't do chores....and I'm the princess." "I see....a shame that princess's don't need an allowance to buy things..." I said. And with a stomp on the floor and crossed arms she looks back at me and yells "Fine! I'll do my work but you make this princess very unhappy." Oh well...at least the work got done.

Facing the past......

This past episode of "The Biggest Loser" was interesting as they had to answer an important question, "What drove you to this weight gain?" For the past 5 months I've been asking myself the very same question. Instead of going to a traditional gym I decided to get involved with a group of trainers who teach a cross-training philosophy. The training is hard and rugged. Also, it allows me some time to think about some important things. During a recent exercise I had to carry a punching bag over my shoulder for a half-mile. It was painful...it was hard. And during the walk I came to a realization...this punching bag was my "burden". All these years my "punching bag" just continued to get heavier and heavier as the burden became unbearable. But how did this punching bag even come into my life? It's a period of life I try not to dwell on...but..it's necessary to talk about.

After college I was hired to become a case manager for social services and that's when everything changed. I took on the case load of children who had been severely beaten, molested, and often times battered. I was only 22 when i was tasked with this job and it was to much for such a young man to carry. The more and more kids I worked with the worse my eating got. Depression soon set in and soon after my eating got worse. Since that time I've had 16 years to carry this burden...depression...and the guilt that I didn't do enough. But 5 months ago I decided to put this burden aside and conquer it. Since then I have lost 5 inches to my waist line. I am shedding the old person....waiting to discover the man underneath. The boy who was left depressed from the waste and sins of the world is going away......and...I'm excited to revisit with my old self. This is my journey and perhaps it's a journey some of you might be on...I look forward to walking with any one of you along the way.

Thanksgiving...Will I get promoted this year?

So, another year of thanksgiving dinner and another year to answer an age old question asked by every teenager showing up at the Avila home..."Am I old enough to sit at the adult table this year?" This question is generally posed moments before dinner is to be served and generally leads into an argument which is followed by a small rebellion of 4-9 years old's who also believe that they should have a chair at the adult table. This is also followed by an argument, by the same 4-9 year old's, concerning voting rights and something to do about the age of drinking in SC. However, this is a separate matter all together. I've tried planning for this moment however how does one plan for disaster? Generally, if I set the bar to 14 years of age then the 13 year old will chime in that her birthday is in 2 months! So...just like last year...it looks like I'll be sitting at the kiddie table again...talking about Hannah Montana and the Jonas Brothers...yippee....

Daddy, does that happen to you wherever you go?

Ashley had just finished up her practice with a new gymnastics school. She went through 3 hours of hard core training so I thought I would take her out for dinner. So we went to a Greek family restaurant in the area. Once there we ordered our food and had a great conversation. The owner of the restaurant saw me and came running to the table. She sat down next to Ashley and in her Greek accent proclaims "When you are done you need to pray with me...ok!?" When she got up to greet other customers Ashley looked at me and asked, "daddy, do strangers randomly come up to you and ask you to pray with them?" Of course Ashley had no way of knowing that we had prayed for her the week prior and was on a spirtual high because her husband had just come to know the Lord. So after explaining everything to Ashley the owner again sat down with us this time bringing a piece of pie for Ashley. I prayed with "Mama", as she likes to be called, and it was a wonderful time. When we left I asked Ashley what she was praying for while I prayed for Mama. She looked at me with this big grin and said "I thanked God for the pie...it was so yummy."

Do you believe in miracles?

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore,
is not an act but a habit.
Aristotle

Once upon a time there was a great nation. Bound by the gates of excellence and looked upon in envy. Once upon a time we were a nation without apology. Born from the spirit of men who had a dream, conceived with a thought and born with a stroke of a pen. Once upon a time I was part of a nation that excelled in all aspects of life. I want our nation to excel once again. Without apology of our past success. Without apology of our future endeavors. We were once great and we will be great again. Not because of any "act" that some congressman will do but by the heart of every American in this country. We are the heart beat of this nation. We are the blood which flows through the vain of this great nation. And we will reclaim the very liberty and freedom that our nation's elected officials have taken away from us...we will be great again. As you watch the videos...remember how great we were...and how together we can be great again.

Daddy...you awake?

I love my lil Megan. She's 4 years old and loves to dance. Often times, while at the dinner table, she'll have me announce her name so she can walk into the room while doing ballet. She's a sweet lil girl who is kind and funny. However, our lil Megan has a bad habit.....she enjoys waking me up. My wife is convinced that she isn't doing this on purpose however I tend to think that this is a plot laid out by the children of which she is the master mind. On this particular occasion she got into bed with me....tapped me on the head...and whispered, "daddy, no wake up...it's me Megan....ok...daddy...can you hear me? No wake up ok?" I have to be honest..the urge to wake up the children to the sound of air-horn is huge...but that just means that I would need to deal with 6 grumpy kids....ugh...the kids won this round....

You got....no class.....

Sunday...the morning where getting the kids ready for church is almost as difficult as ...well...getting 6 kids ready for church! This particular Sunday Connor walks up to me and says "daddy, you need to change your shirt." I was curious...so I probed further. "why" i asked? Connor looked at me perplexed. Apparently I was not aware that Connor moon lights as a fashion consultant for some type of 7 year old clothing magazine. After giving me the "dummy" stare he said "daddy, you got no class...." and he walked away. Hmm...never thought I would be relying on my 7 year old for fashion advice.....

Bill Avila
The Hispanic Crusader

Good bye to one of my best friends...

It was 9 years ago in January that Lauren, Ashley, and I ventured up to the great state of Ohio. The goal... to pick up my dog. He was a new born chocolate lab pup. I was so excited as this was my first real pet since leaving home. I had his name picked out...Maximus. If you looked at his AKC papers you would see his fully registered name was Maximus Decimus Meridius....yep...after the movie Gladiator. During his life I taught Max sign language and he could respond to commands with a simple gesture. He especially loved the children. If Max noticed they were getting to far from the house he would run around the child until they moved closer to the house. He was in all aspects a wonderful dog. When it came to me he wasnt just a dog but my closest friend. He followed me everywhere I went. I could count on Max to hang out when times were down or play catch outside. To describe Max would quite honestly not do him justice. He was in all respects a family member whom I will miss. He was one of my closest friends. Today we noticed Max could not move. His breathing was heavy and he wouldn't move. We took him to the Vet to find out he had a Liver disease and any options were slim. We sat by his side and the kids gave him their last hugs. In the end he demonstrated the greatest love he had for the children....Having no strength he got up...legs wobbling....and walked toward the children collapsing in front of them. I will miss my friend.

Bill Avila

If you build it....

Just finished watching Field of Dreams. Like other guys this is probably my 50th time watching the movie. The last 10 min of the movie are gripping. "If you build it he will come". Ray watches as his father walk's toward him and the two play catch....the baseball field gave Ray a chance to mend things with his father. It got me thinking...would I build a baseball field to have one last moment with my father? My father's been gone 3 years now. In his final moments I found solace in his words but the 36 years before that were wasted. Since that moment I have vowed not to waste the time I have with my children. Not one hug is wasted nor a kiss denied. In them I see the best of me..and the worst. But in the end I love my kids. No one can make me laugh the way they do. So would I create a baseball field for one moment with my dad? Yep...and just like Ray I would ask him if we could play catch.....

Bill Avila

My Wife...Her Birthday

We met after being setup on date from some of our dearest friends. It was after our first date that I knew she was "the one". We've been married for 16 years now. We have 6 children and at times life seems to get away from us. But in those fine moments where we actually talk I find solace in the simple things that make my wife and I laugh. Sept 5th is her birthday and to be honest it's getting hard to top the previous years birthday idea's. This year she's spending three days away from the chaos of life. It's well deserved. She's a full time mom...an incredible mom at that. Most people could only imagine the turmoil that accompanies waking up 6 kids. She's also my wife and best friend. So to my wife....Happy Birthday! I hope you enjoy your surprise :)

Bill Avila
The Hispanic Crusader

Week 9 Workout

Another week down. For some reason my quads are on this fire week! When Friday rolled around I looked at the board to notice we were doing 100 step ups on each leg...ohhhh...the agony.... :) Eating 5 times a day seems to be working well. I'm incorporating a lot of fruit and veggies. I'm looking forward to my next body comp. I think it's another 3 weeks before that happens.

...You need to die...

Dinner was finished and I was sitting back in my chair relaxing. My eyes were closed and for a moment I was in "peace" when I felt a tap on my shoulder. TAP TAP - "Daddy, i need you to hold this." When i turned around it was Connor and he was handing me a light saber. So...not thinking about it I took the lightsaber from his hand. BAM - No sooner then I took it and he hit me in the head with his lightsaber! "Why did you do that!" I shouted. "Daddy, your a sith lord and you need to die." Oh...yeah....I forgot....thank you sir may I please have another.

A journey into cross training...

I thought I would write down some thoughts from the past 9 weeks of cross-fit training. It's my insight into a journey I started almost 9 weeks ago.

Week 1: Pain...all I can say is pain. Brian, my trainer, is patient and vibrant. When I took the intro class I wasn't sure if I would like it. It lacked all the cool equipment that the other gyms had. However, I was in for a rude awakening. By the end of the first week I could barely walk and felt as though I needed a walker to get be through most of the day. Brian wants me to try 4 days a week and work myself up to 5 days a week. I wake up at 4:30 am and am at the gym by 5:00.....ugh....

Week 2: Another week down. Ugh. Brian wants me to do a food log. I told him him I was ready to try 5 days a week. He was all for it. Continued soreness in my legs and quads. Oy...This Week worked out the abs to the point where my stomach muscles finally said "dude, what are you trying to do to me!"

Week 3: Turned in my food log and started my 5 day a week training. Brian gave me some friendly chastisement and some needed advise. He wanted soda out of my daily routine as it had no nutritional value at all. (Since this day I have had no drinks of soda of any sort) Additionally fast food was out of the picture...totally. So I have started making my lunches at work which include a whole wheat sandwich and a plate of steamed veggies. Additionally my snacks consist of some type of fruit usually a banana or apple. Continued soreness all over.

Week 4: Brian corrected some of my eating habits with some adjustments to added protein during my lunch hour. Additionally he wanted me to add some protein bars during my snack times - usually around 10:30 am and 2:30 in the afternoon. This is the first week I haven't felt as sore as I was in the beginning. I can actually walk upright!

Week 5: When i started with the gym they took a body comp which they would monitor every 4-6 weeks in order to determine where I'm losing inches and weight. I was extremely pleased :) I dropped 10 pounds. Additionally I dropped 3 inches around my chest, 1 inch on my neck, 1 inch on my waist, and 1 inch on my bicep. I'm pretty stoked! I continue to watch my eating and drink lots of water.

Week 6: This week was insane (in a good way!) By the end of some of the routines I couldn't even hold the starting weights anymore....Learning a lot about self-discipline and how much of my attitude is based on my expectations for myself. A lil sore this and my arms feel like noodles.

Week 7: So far im down 2 belt notches and my clothes are feeling so loose. I don't think anyone really notices the weight loss but thats cool...I'm doing this for me and my family. Plus my wife's constant flattery gives me additional motivation to keep going. Felt some pain in my sides as I was doing one of the exercises. Wasn't hurtful more like a cramp. Brian explained how muscles will cramp up when deprived of oxygen and he also tought me some stretches.

Week: 8 Another week down! It's almost sad that I enjoy my weekend but can't wait for Monday to roll around to start my work out all over again. This wasn't a bad week. The squats and the step exercises are becoming fairly routine and i haven't had any cramping when doing my crunches. I'm finally sleeping through the night and the fact that my wife is throwing lots of winks my way isn't bad either :)

My Lil Megan....

So there we are watching our family movie on a Friday night. Megan get's up from her seat and says "mommy, hold me". So as I was sitting next to my lovely bride I asked Megan if she wanted to sit on my lap. She looked at me with the utmost sincerity and said "daddy, i want to sit on mommy's lap, but you can touch my foot if you want."

My Fitness Journey....

Almost 8 weeks ago i started a journey to improve my health, lifestyle, and longevity. I wasn't sure how to approach it. It had been a long time since I was in a gym and I felt like a novice....and in fact I was. I called a local gym and tried one of the training sessions. I was a bit skeptical because it didn't look like your typical gym. The first couple of days were intense...I felt pain EVERYWHERE. To be honest I could barely walk! I basically shuffled everywhere as though there were braces attached to my legs. It's been a journey of self discovery and mental resistance. During the past 8 weeks I've learned a lot about myself and it's helped strengthen my focus. I've also been blessed with a wonderful trainer. He's got my interest in mind and his desire to partner with me is a great motivator. The journey is just beginning...and honestly...I'm excited!

Bill Avila

If only....

The antics of children amaze me. More precisely the tantrums they throw are an amusement to my wife and I, albeit sometimes a deafening one. On this particular occasion an idea came to me. What if, during a crucial business meeting, I utilized some of the children antics to demonstrate my disapproval and dissatisfaction. For example:

The Foot Stomp - A method utilized by a couple of the female inhabitants in my home. Generally this tactic is used when trying to convey unhappiness. Generally the methods involve 2 - 3 stomps followed by a statue like posture with arms crossed.

The Speak and Slouch - Generally one of the Avila inhabitants will get into a fight with another sibling at the dinner table. After a chastisement the unhappy child will drop into their chair (also called a slouch) and their speech will become murmured or slurred. During this time the voice also becomes low with arms crossed.

The Stuck Turtle - I named this particular position as the respondent will throw themselves to the ground, land on their back, and kick their legs around as though they are turtles stuck on their back. Often times this is followed by loud amounts of crying and gnashing of teeth.

The Stone Statue - As can be expected from talking to a stone statue there is "no" response. Thus the accused child will sit expressionless. No matter the question or comment the child maintains one expression and does not break from it until the adult decides to move on to other more pressing matters.

If I forgot anything please let me know.


Bill Avila
The Hispanic Crusader

Dad...your not a fighter....

So there I was, another night of wrestling my son. As usual I put on a good show. Grunts, slams, elbows...it was like being at a professional wrestling match! But just like any other night the good guy (Connor) ends up winning the match against the bad guy (me). This one night Connor beat me using his hand as a whip and on this occasion using the force (yes, like in star wars) to choke me into submission. When we were done wrestling he walked up to me and said "dad, I'm worried." I asked him what he was worried about...he said, "well daddy, you teach people how to fight and well...i beat you every time we fight. Don't you think I should be teaching the class instead?" So if anyone is interested Connor will be doing a fight seminar this weekend on how to use Force Lighting as an attack on your opponent.

..Father's day and the men in my life.....

Some time ago I had the chance to read "Wild at Heart" and thus started the process of understanding who I was as a man and who God created me to be. I am a husband, I am a father. I am a son, I am man. I am a professional, I am a dreamer. In all these things I have discovered who I am and in which place God would have me serve. I thought it only appropriate to write about the men who helped me find my place and who shaped me into the man I am today.

Guillermo Avila Sr.

My father was born in Mexico. He was a soft spoken man who held an incredible work ethic. Since the first day I held memories i always remembered how he worked two jobs. His work ethic was unmatched. He always felt that working the amount of hours he did was his way of letting the family know he cared. He was not an affectionate man but yet I found the love he had for me in the words other would speak when he would talk of me. He was a man of few words yet his actions were often enough for me to understand what he didn't speak. When i was in middle school I remember a time when i was "jumped" by an older boy. He stole my money and bruised me physically and mentally. When I went home my father was there. He asked what happened and I told him, he said nothing more. He picked up his keys and walked out the door. He arrived an hour later and laid some money on the table. "This is yours" he said...and he walked away.

Lance Rubringer

Every boy needs to know that they have the ability to become a man. The "right of passage" is something lost in our culture. Something attributed to remote villages who have not understood the western way of thinking. Teenagers today find their own way. Their own methods of testing their manhood.
I was fortunate to have a mentor, a friend, and a man who gave of his time and family to lead me into that transition. If our discussions could be put on paper the books would take months to read. When I met Lance I was at church on a Wednesday night. Depressed and discouraged I asked God to send someone my way. As the choir dismissed Lance made his way out and saw me. "Looks like you need someone to talk to" he said. From that day on his mentorship started. I attribute the man I am today because of him..he would tell you he merely guided me along the way and God did all the work. I covet his email sent soon after my father died and we adopted my two nieces. It simply read "I am so proud of you." A great void was filled....He is a good man and his church is fortunate to have him as a pastor.

Jerry Ramos

To understand the man you have to understand the path he's walked. As a former Navy SEAL in Vietnam his stern voice and his presence is enough to intimidate most men. I always kept a "healthy" fear of him growing up. He words held meaning and his actions we always consistent to his convictions. In these past few years I've come to lean on him as I understand my role as a father to 6 children. Discouraged he'll hear my voice. Discouraged he'll encourage me. And discouraged he'll help me back up. I shall never..never...never...forget the phone call I received from him as I dealt with the financial burdens after my sister's funeral. "I'm proud of the man you've become." Those words are written in my mind.

From the boy who I was...to the man I am now. This is my story. But the story isn't finished. As Lance passed his gift to me I have continued to mentor young men. And so the process goes. Happy Father's Day to all of you...

...Can you build me a fireplace?

I was on my bed preparing for a nights rest when my son walks in and jumps on the bed.

Connor: Daddy, I need you to build a fireplace in my room.
Me: What? But we need a chimney...cant have a fireplace without a chimney.
Connor: When can we build a chimney?
Me: I dont have the skills to do such a task. Why do you need one?
Connor: To perform my work.
Me: What kind of work?
Connor: To make steel swords in my room.
Me: Oh, let me talk to your mother....

Connor, Me, and the Highlander movie...

I'm going to let a secret out of the bag. My son Connor is named after Connor MacLeod from the Highlander movie. How could I not....a sword wielding immortal whose only goal is to behead those of other immortals in order to win the "prize". (oops, don't think my wife wanted me to mention that part) I digress! I was so looking forward to watching Highlander with Connor and even played it out in my mind:

Dream Sequence
Connor: "Daddy, thanks so much for naming me after such a cool studly man who is just like you!"
Me: "No problem son, I'm glad to have done it"

Reality
This weekend Connor and I sat down to watch the movie. His first thought..."Why is Connor MacLeod wearing a dress?" I tried to explain...it wasn't a dress, it was a kilt! Moments went on..."Daddy, his kilt has lots of colors..like a girls dress." I explained to him that a kilt represented the colors of their family name. Connor looked at me with a puzzled look.
"Do we have family colors for a kilt?" I paused the movie and explained to him the Connor Macleod was Scottish and as our family originated from Spain we didnt wear kilts. To WHICH my son followed up by saying "daddy, im very confused. You named me after a guy who comes from a country where guys wear kilts? But...our family is from Spain...I dont understand...why am I named after a Scottish person...?" I looked down...and he walked out of the room. After thinking about it I hit the play button and watched the rest of the movie.

Bill
Your Hispanic Crusader

....I dont get the timing of these commercials....

So there we are. I made breakfast for the family and on this rare occasion i decided i wanted to watch Fox news while I cooked. My son walked in and sat at the kitchen counter and the other kids started to shuffle in. My wife made her way into the kitchen to make her morning coffee when of all commercials the Viagra commercial pops on. As the commercial plays my son looks at me and says "daddy, those people look really happy in that commercial. You should take one of those in the morning so you can be happy all day." I looked back at him and said, "Connor, they don't want people to be happy at my job all day."

Blogging in my office...

Having 6 children can put a damper on my family blog site. My wife, the incredible woman she is, tries to fend off the children long enough to type a few words here and there but eventually they overwhelm her and they come running my way. So, i decided to lock myself in my office to type this blog. I have a lot to share since my last blog. Word's of insight and things that will be life changing. So here we go....wait..someone is knocking at my office door....I have to go folks, looks like the 9 year old has to use the restroom I'm locked in.....


Bill Avila

A mountain of laziness...

Once upon a time there was an old farmer who wanted to discover the meaning of life. The farmer thought that he could find his answer meditating and living in the remote parts of the mountains. He asked his friends if they wanted to go with him but they all said they couldn't leave the farm. So he went up to the mountain top on his own. After 3 years he came back down. Aged and full of knowledge he walked into the village to announce his arrival. So his friends came running and asked, "did you find the meaning of life?" "yes" the old farmer replied. The friends were eager..."what is it?" He looked at them and said "go up the mountain and find out yourself"....and he walked away.....

This time...it happened to my wife...

Greetings Crusaders,

I received a call this AM from the better half of the crusader family. Evidently the 7 year old made her way down stairs, woke my wife up to proclaim how proud she was that she slept in 15 extra minutes. My wife shrugged her off only to be awoken again, by the same child, who is complaining of an itching foot! Good grief. To put everything in perspective this is the same child who woke me up in order to inform me that she spilled the orange juice and needed to know what course of action she should take. I think Bill Cosby was right...kids are born with Drain Brammage.....

Your humble crusader

Quote of the year!

Greetings fellow crusaders,

It's hard to imagine that the quote of the year would come so soon...but yes...it's here. This past weekend the 13 year old had the opportunity to baby sit thus earning some extra cash. It was a pleasant Saturday however, like most Saturdays, it was a busy one. As we were getting ready for an early dinner the 13 year old made it clear that she needed a "nap" in order to prepare herself for baby sitting that night. Unfortunately it wasn't in the cards. As I was talking to her I tried to get her to realize that"naps" are convenient and not necessary to do your job well. It was during this exchange that the quote of the year comes out. She said, with a totally straight face, "you guys don't understand what it's like to watch a bunch of kids when you haven't taken a nap!" Well...there you go folks. The good thing is that my lovely bride and I make parenting look pretty easy. If they were to make a movie about us I think we would like the title to be 6 Kids, No Nap, and No Refunds. Why no refunds? You'll have to see the movie to get the explanation....(cough cough)

Your humble crusader

A generation that doesnt understand......

Triple coupon week is always a fun week for the Avila family. During my shopping spree i had a coupon for mustard which, when tripled, was free! The mustard, however, was not the squeezable kind but the "older" style where a butter knife is required in order to spread the mustard. The day came when the kids wanted the mustard. The 13 year old yelled over to me that the squeezable mustard had run out and she wanted to know if she could use the other mustard i had purchased. I replied, "of course". "How do i use it?" she asked. I told her to use a butter knife as that was my preferred method. Only later would I understand that my words were apparently very "vague" for the 13 year old. When i walked back in the kitchen she had a butter knife in hand...unfastened the mustard....and was scooping the mustard from the glass container into the squeezable container! "what are you doing!" I asked. She said, "you told me to use a butter knife" to which I replied "To spread the mustard not scoop the mustard into another container!" She looked at me as though I had asked her to revert back to an 8 track player instead of using her MP3 Player and she said, "you mean I have to spread it myself?" I am indeed fearful for this generation. I have to run....the kids forgot how to turn the television on without the remote control......

Who knew?

So there I was, listening to the musings and poetic symphony produced and written by Billy Joel. I was singing along to his greatest hits album while putting away the dishes. I had in fact put the music on because the only other noise that filled the room at the time were the screeches and howls of the 6 children who, for whatever reason, seem to think i enjoy the chatter and ramblings of "boogers" and such. As I put away the dishes my son walks up to me. Moments before he was in the vicinity playing his Nintendo DS...I had assumed his ears were deaf to the music since his focus was on the virtual creature he was trying to slay. So, for whatever reason he put down his DS and walks into the kitchen and looks at me and says, "daddy, I love you just the way you are." And as quickly as he walked in he walked out and continued playing his DS. Im wondering...do you think that Billy Joel put a hypnotic spell on him? Hhhhmmmm....

I witnessed history today....

Today was a historical day and I had the privilege of being part of it. As I look at this historic moment I can only imagine what my children's children will say about it. Stories will be told...tears will be shed. "Where were you" people will ask...."what was it like"......I'll simply reply "i sat back and watched history take it's course." And as I stand back and reflect I think to myself how awesome. Generations have prayed to witness a day such as this...today...it was my day. How wonderful to be a part of it...finally...the kids cleaned their rooms without being asked....

William
http://kingdomoftheabsurd.blogspot.com/

Don't be afraid...

All comments are welcome :)

My Son....if only the other kids could figure it out.

The knights had a quest for the holy grail, some seek after bigfoot, other seek out the ever elusive Nessi in Loch Ness. I, however, seek after something more simple..sleep. This past weekend my wife and kids went to the beach so our 9 year old daughter could compete in a gymnastic tournament. My 6 year old son asked if he could stay behind and hang out with his dad. How awesome! We had a great time! The following day I was asleep in my bed and i heard the rocking chair in my bedroom making the usual noieses. I looked over and there was my son, rocking and reading a book. I looked at the time and I said, "Connor, you let me sleep in?" He looked at me with all certainty and said, "Thats what guys do." Wow...my son got it...why can't the 5 other girls? Oh well...for one moment in time I found my own holy grail. :)

William

http://kingdomoftheabsurd.blogspot.com/

Gotta love facebook.....

So the 13 year old didn't believe me when i told her i could access her facebook chat information. How unfortunate. As a reformed hacker from the glory days I felt it appropriate to have her understand that we monitor EVERYTHING. So, the lesson began. As she was on the computer chatting i grabbed the 7 year old and had her stand next to me with my laptop in front of me. The 13 year old was typing away on her facebook chat in close proximity. The 7 year old had some simple instructions, I would read as though I were the 13 year old and she would read the dialgue of the friend. We made it a bit of a theatre event as we acted our roles choosing to use method acting as our base. The 13 year old was in shock as we recited the conversation that she and her friend were currently having. Of course it also exposed how ridiculous their conversation is and how much time they wasted typing the same thing in 10 different ways. It's funny how much time teens spend on online chatting. It seems picking up the phone would be so much more productive. One last thought....as these kids use facebook....wait...I have to run....my wife is texting me.

William
http://kingdomoftheabsurd.blogspot.com/

A child's desire to date....

Greetings to all of my crusaders. I trust all of you had a good Christmas and a good new year. As the new year begins the problems that accompany it are not all that new....one of them being the topic of dating. For some reason the 13 year old resident of our home believes that she's ready to date. Ready? I like what Master Yoda once said to young Luke..."what know of you ready?" Of course, I understand the training of a Jedi is much different then that of 13 civilian whose only desire is to see how many flags she can steal on her facebook account. But, no matter what, I find great satisfaction that when the day comes and I interrogate the young boy who wishes to go on a "date" with my girls that I finally get to shine the swords in my basement and if I'm lucky have him place an apple on his head where i can demonstrate the sharpness of my sword. If fear is a motivator then indeed I may be looking forward to this dating thing after all :)

The Hispanic Crusader
http://kingdomoftheabsurd.blogspot.com/