If only....

The antics of children amaze me. More precisely the tantrums they throw are an amusement to my wife and I, albeit sometimes a deafening one. On this particular occasion an idea came to me. What if, during a crucial business meeting, I utilized some of the children antics to demonstrate my disapproval and dissatisfaction. For example:

The Foot Stomp - A method utilized by a couple of the female inhabitants in my home. Generally this tactic is used when trying to convey unhappiness. Generally the methods involve 2 - 3 stomps followed by a statue like posture with arms crossed.

The Speak and Slouch - Generally one of the Avila inhabitants will get into a fight with another sibling at the dinner table. After a chastisement the unhappy child will drop into their chair (also called a slouch) and their speech will become murmured or slurred. During this time the voice also becomes low with arms crossed.

The Stuck Turtle - I named this particular position as the respondent will throw themselves to the ground, land on their back, and kick their legs around as though they are turtles stuck on their back. Often times this is followed by loud amounts of crying and gnashing of teeth.

The Stone Statue - As can be expected from talking to a stone statue there is "no" response. Thus the accused child will sit expressionless. No matter the question or comment the child maintains one expression and does not break from it until the adult decides to move on to other more pressing matters.

If I forgot anything please let me know.


Bill Avila
The Hispanic Crusader