I'm the princess....

It was a usual day. The kids were doing their chores and grumblings were heard through out the house. Megan, my 5 year old, had the task of picking up the socks in the upstairs hallway. Things were quiet and we hadn't seen her for sometime. Moments later she began her descent downstairs dressed in her princess outfit, barbie shoes, and her crown. I asked her "what's going on? Have you done your chores?" She looked at me and in her broken 5 year old version of an English accent replied back "Princess's don't do chores....and I'm the princess." "I see....a shame that princess's don't need an allowance to buy things..." I said. And with a stomp on the floor and crossed arms she looks back at me and yells "Fine! I'll do my work but you make this princess very unhappy." Oh well...at least the work got done.

Facing the past......

This past episode of "The Biggest Loser" was interesting as they had to answer an important question, "What drove you to this weight gain?" For the past 5 months I've been asking myself the very same question. Instead of going to a traditional gym I decided to get involved with a group of trainers who teach a cross-training philosophy. The training is hard and rugged. Also, it allows me some time to think about some important things. During a recent exercise I had to carry a punching bag over my shoulder for a half-mile. It was painful...it was hard. And during the walk I came to a realization...this punching bag was my "burden". All these years my "punching bag" just continued to get heavier and heavier as the burden became unbearable. But how did this punching bag even come into my life? It's a period of life I try not to dwell on...but..it's necessary to talk about.

After college I was hired to become a case manager for social services and that's when everything changed. I took on the case load of children who had been severely beaten, molested, and often times battered. I was only 22 when i was tasked with this job and it was to much for such a young man to carry. The more and more kids I worked with the worse my eating got. Depression soon set in and soon after my eating got worse. Since that time I've had 16 years to carry this burden...depression...and the guilt that I didn't do enough. But 5 months ago I decided to put this burden aside and conquer it. Since then I have lost 5 inches to my waist line. I am shedding the old person....waiting to discover the man underneath. The boy who was left depressed from the waste and sins of the world is going away......and...I'm excited to revisit with my old self. This is my journey and perhaps it's a journey some of you might be on...I look forward to walking with any one of you along the way.