Who to vote for?

Goodness, where does one start? Your lovable Crusader is having a tough time putting his thoughts together on who to vote for. Actually, the process is fairly similar to an episode of Fear Factor where i must decide on eating the cows liver raw or eating the maggots from the dead body of a rotting cat. Either way the experience wont be pleasant and in the end I'll end up getting sick. However, some key things are important when making an important decision such as this.

1. Most likely to lower my taxes: X McCain X Obama
Lets face it...what else would they say? Of course the government is 3 Trillion Dollars in the hole so why not LOWER the amount of taxes so the government can continue to spend more and when necessary give itself a raise. Makes great sense to me!

2. Which of the two candidates would win in a No-Holds Barred fight? Obama
The reality is McCain can't raise his arms due to the injuries he incurred while a POW. (Thanks goes to my office mate Mike who pointed this out). Because of this I give Obama the nod.

3. Less likely to have another nation go to war with us? Obama
The likely hood of Obama going to war is lessened due in part by his obvious skills in a no-hold brawl as demonstrated by the vicious hand to hand defeat of McCain in the cage. Honestly, who would want to take this warrior of a man on!?

4. Most likely to win a hot dog eating match? McCain
Hands down the winner goes to McCain. I envision these two guys up at the table...the gun goes off...and McCain goes straight to the hot dogs. During which time Obama starts talking about our dependence on foreign hot dogs and how we need to find a different source for hot dogs if we are going to prosper as a nation.

So there you go guys, a critical analysis of the upcoming presidential election. If we play our cards right Jesse Ventura may step up to the plate and how cool would it be to have a former Navy SEAL as president.....